Nearly 3, Still A Pervert

About this time last year I noted that Monkey had developed certain obsessions that set him apart from other dogs we’ve known, and as a result of those dodgy habits I called him a pervert. One year later on I can report that he’s no longer compelled to power-sniff any recently vacated seat for traces of anus, which is a good thing, and he’s a bit more inclined merely to sniff the pee markings left by other dogs, rather than desperately try to lick them up.

The “pervert” label still applies though, because he now gets inappropriately excited about furry blankies. Just the other day he was trying to make a bed on the sofa – badly of course, given that he learned his bedmaking skills from Biggles. I was sat with him on the sofa at the time, having difficulty drinking my coffee due to the vigorous tugging movements; periodically getting an arse thrust into my face didn’t help either. Keen to bring the exercise to a close while there was still a reasonable volume in my cup, I tried to help sort him out. During the course of this help he ended up getting tangled up in one of our excessively furry sofa throws, and became inappropriately giddy with excitement. It was very nearly one of those “oh, oh right..” moments; I suspect that if I hadn’t quickly pulled the throw off him and found alternative seating I’d have been treated to a really close-up view of Mr Pinky, although “Mr Big Red & Angry” would be a more fitting name for Monkey’s plonker.

He’s also started humping recently; he humps humie legs, he humps the sofas, and until her very recent spaying op he was showing worrying signs of wanting to hump Daisy. His mentor Biggles never humped anybody or anything, which makes Monkey our first humping male Beagle. Both of our previous girlies were enthusiastic humpers, and despite the fact that Monkey still has his own pair of blackberries, his hip thrusting pales in comparison to Beanie’s. To frame this in terms of popular music, a slow number by Barry White would be a good accompaniment for Monkey’s humping attempts; for Beanie, Motorhead’s Ace of Spades would be the only appropriate match, and even then it might be a slow. Since humping is such a common Beagle pastime it doesn’t in itself support my assertion that the Monkster is a pervert, but the silly wild-eyed look on his face during humping sessions absolutely does. I’ll need to get a shot of that sometime, but for now here’s a dump of some recent Monkey & Daisy moments.