How come we always get the slightly odd ones when it comes to Beagles? Beanie would hump anything that moved and then demand to be covered by a blankie; Biggles was a furry noise machine who wanted to build his own dirty sock mountain, yet would always stay very, very quiet when he needed help. Poppy was a potato-obsessed kleptomaniac who could find a way through any fence. Monkey – as I’ve often noted – loves to lap up other dogs’ pee and gets inappropriately stimulated by our sofa throws.

Compared to that lot Daisy has always been the normal one; she just likes cuddles and humping Monkey, and let’s face it, everyone likes humping Monkey. Poppy did it frequently and numerous other (mostly boy) dogs have had a go at riding him this year, despite the fact that he’s is fully intact. Just recently however, Daisy has proved that she is indeed a fully paid-up member of the gang: she’s developed a liking for pressing her nether regions firmly against novel surfaces. Fleecy jogging bottoms are nice, as is fur – whether attached to Monkey or the purely synthetic kind – but her real fave is leather; cool, supple leather.  Especially if it’s been recently waxed.

In fairness I should point out that (so far) Daisy hasn’t actually humped her chosen perving surface – unless that surface is Monkey of course – but our little girl has definitely joined the “not quite right” club.

To finish, some shots of a more innocent nature..

In the last two weeks it seems like autumn has been and gone and now we’re into winter: mostly cold, wet and windy with the odd dry but extra, extra cold day. On one one of those extra cold yet sunny mornings, I put on a warm jacket and went to sit in the garden with the pups; they always enjoy playing and exploring more when one of us is out with them.

Out of the blue, Monkey interrupted his play & perimeter checks  and leaped onto my lap. This is unusual; Daisy’s normally my go-to lap dog , while Monkey prefers Susan because she tends lean right back in the chair, producing a larger area that is better able to accommodate a Monkey and all his components. Nevertheless, this morning he had his rear paws on my knees, his front paws on my chest and his head right in front of mine. I told him how nice it was to receive this special visit and ruffled his lugs, and there was much wagging.

Unlike Daisy, Monkey’s not keen on hugs, but he does like to go nose-to-nose with a humie and stare into their eyes, all the while making little snuffling noises. It’s a wonderfully gentle and intimate gesture – one so disarming that I forgot the other, even more intimate thing that goes along with it. As my lips parted just a little for an in-breath, he shot his tongue straight into my mouth and for an instant our tongues made contact. This turned the “awww” moment into an “ugghhh”, but as I reflexively did little spits and wiped my mouth on my sleeve, Monkey walked forward up my chest, putting my forehead in line with his neck. The “awww” came right back as I pressed my nose into his chest fur and he rested his chin on the top of my head. A moment later it was double-awww: Daisy leaped up onto my lap and crawled through the Monkey tunnel, emerging between his legs to put little kisses on my chin.

Moments like these more than make up for all the poo-pickups, bed-washings, extra vacuuming sessions and unidentified floaters in my coffee cup. They are also mostly adequate compensation for having Monkey’s tongue in my mouth, even when I suspect it was licking his bumhole only a few seconds earlier :)

How is it possible that this little fellow is now four years old? Where did all the time go?

I guess the first couple of years flew by because Monkey and his then sister Poppy were just one half of our Beagle pack, but however those years got behind us, The Monkster has indeed just celebrated his fourth birthday.

For much of his life Monkey has been convinced that the world is out to get him, and has treated anything unfamiliar with suspicion. Now – as a more experienced Beagle of the world – he’s learning that not everything is necessarily a Monkeycide attempt.

He greets his harness with a wag these days instead of trying to dodge it, and trots through sea water at the beach by choice (as long as it’s not more than a couple of inches deep). He lets me clean his teeth really thoroughly, even to the point of using a descaler tool. Most impressively, he overcame much of his traditional caution when I presented him with the first of his home-baked 4th birthday biccies.

Ordinarily a UFI (Unidentified Food Item) should undergo a series of rigorous tests prior to consumption, but Daisy had speed-swallowed hers and was already looking to steal his, so Monkey took his life in his paws and put the biccie in his mouth. He didn’t chew immediately, but once he did, he clearly liked the taste of it and showed no hesitation when I offered a second serving. This was a great relief to me as my boy – despite his name – is not a huge fan of bananas (the first key ingredient) and has learned to associate peanut butter (the second key ingredient) with attempts to disguise his worming tablets. If anyone wants the recipe for these biccies, you’ll find it here.

Since his last birthday Monkey has gained an appreciation of the humie bed. He still won’t sleep under the covers, but he does like to luxuriate on it whenever he gets the chance, especially if he gets solo access. When his grunting and rolling attracts the attention of me or Susan, he thumps the covers with his tail and presents his tummy for a comprehensive tickling session.

My bond with Monkey’s predecessor – Biggles – grew very strong over the years and I often compare the two of them. Biggles’ defining characteristic was his expectation-free, happy-go-lucky attitude to life. That’s not Monkey at all – he certainly does worry about things, but he has his own equally admirable, stand-out quality: he is the gentlest, best natured dog I’ve ever known. This is especially evident in his relationship with Daisy; her puppy license expired some time ago and she can be a spoilt little madam at times, but Monkey remains the (almost) perfect gentleman towards her; he still lets her drink first when they’re at the water bowl, always holds back when they’re playing, and tolerates her evening humping session, even if it’s really vigorous and he’d rather just have a nap.

I say “almost” the perfect gentleman, because he does occasionally push her off the sofa, pretending that it was an accident and he was only stretching, but that’s not naughty or ill-natured, it’s just cheeky; if you’re a young Beagle boy and you’re not a bit cheeky there’s something wrong!